Presence is the Gift to the People You Serve

In the profession of coaching, the relationship between coach and client is a partnership built on trust, respect, psychological safety as well as a commitment to growth and personal transformation.

But often, what sets a good coaching session apart from a life-changing conversation is the deep presence of the coach, which can support the client to also become deeply present with themselves and with what is happening in the moment.

A coaching session grounded in presence can create a space where clients feel heard and supported in ways they have potentially never experienced before, that allows them to expand their unconscious awareness and access their innate wisdom.

Deep presence in coaching means bringing our empathy, full attention and awareness (somatically, emotionally, cognitively, intuitively) to the conversation in a way that goes beyond surface-level curiosity.

When a coach is deeply present, they are fully focused on the whole client: their communication beyond words. They listen out for the emotions, sensations, energy, intentions, subtle and significant client shifts, as well as the potential underlying dynamics that may be at play in the client's environment.

The coach is also aware of how they are responding to what their client is communicating. This requires the coach to be aware of their own internal states - what they see, hear and sense - which can be useful to reflect back and ask questions of the client about what they are becoming aware of so they can understand themselves even more.

If we are not truly present with our client, it can lead to disconnection and potentially missing vital areas of exploration with the client in support of their inquiry.

As a coach, we can deepen our presence in the following ways:

1. Deep Listening

Active and deep listening goes beyond hearing the words our client is saying. 

Listening to the client's verbal and non verbal language (for example, their tone, body language, metaphors and the emotions underlying their words) and exploring what those mean for the client can lead to uncovering the client's unconscious 'blind spots' in thinking and doing - or not doing.

Presence can also be demonstrated by how the coach responds to what the client shares, especially when the coach notices a shift in energy, or when an insight arises, or the client is sharing courageously and vulnerably, or when emotions arise. When shifts happen, the coach can use reflective feedback and become incredibly curious and thought provoking with the client about what those shifts mean to the client. Even if the shift is very subtle.

Exploring the subtle shifts can expand a client's conscious awareness powerfully and significantly.

2. Slowing down

A slower pace or volume of speaking can allow our clients to process what's happening to them more deeply. In other words, when we 'disappear' from our client's processing and allow them to go on an introspective journey of self-discovery, the presence of what is happening in the session can be deepened even more.

3. Holding Space

Holding space for the client to dig deep, do their own work and let new thoughts, ideas, and insights emerge into consciousness can be a very powerful way to support presence. 

This, together with keeping our ego or the rescuer at bay from intervening, or asking questions when the client is still processing the previous question can provide an opportunity for the client to reflect even more expansively.

4. Creating a psychologically safe place

The setting up of a 'safe container' to partner within by contracting thoroughly and thoughtfully between the coach and client can support a client to feel safe to explore their challenges, fears, and aspirations without judgment. 

Deep presence signals to the client that they are seen and heard on a profound level. 

When a coach is truly present, they communicate respect for the client and offer a non-judgmental space for exploration in relation to challenges and opportunities. This is essential for breakthroughs to occur.

5. Grounding before a session

A grounding practice before each session can assist the coach and the client in becoming present to self. This could mean taking a few deep breaths or some kind of mindfulness practice which the coach and client can do together or individually before the session starts.

Clearing our minds and releasing any distractions will allow all partners to show up fully in the session.

6. Cultivate Non-Attachment

Coaching presence requires 'non-attachment', which means letting go of own agenda, judgments or assumptions about where the session should go. 

Trusting the process and allowing the conversation to unfold organically can lead to powerful insights.

7. Be Aware of Own Reactions

It’s important to be aware of our own emotions and reactions during a session. Do you feel triggered by something the client has said or are you projecting your own beliefs or biases onto the conversation? 

Practicing self-awareness allows the coach to manage their internal states and put aside own thinking and reactions and provide full attention to the client. 

BENEFITS OF DEEP COACHING PRESENCE

When a coach embodies deep presence, it creates a dynamic that accelerates the client’s growth and the impact can be profound! 

Clients begin to recognise their own patterns and beliefs that might have been operating unconsciously. They can get clear about who they are (their purpose and values) and what they desire.

When clients feel truly seen, heard and supported, they begin to trust their own judgment and tap into their inner wisdom.

Deep presence helps create a transformational experience, where clients walk away, not with just answers for their inquiry, but with lasting insights and a renewed sense of purpose. 

In coaching, deep presence is the essence of authentic, transformational work which can support breakthrough moments and create a space for profound shifts to occur.

To be a truly effective coach - our ability to be authentically present and comfortable with the unknown is at the heart of coaching mastery and the limitless possibilities for change.

Find out more in our podcast episode 215 'Presence: The Key to Powerful Coaching' here.

Be empowered.

Jeanine and Marie Empower World Co-founders

Find out about our upcoming Coach Mentoring Programme starting on 22 November 2024 here.

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