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Listening like a 'Samaritan' (a charitable or helpful person)

Dec 30, 2024

The concept of 'listening like a Samaritan' is rooted in the idea of offering non-judgmental support and profound empathy. It means listening to someone without interrupting or attempting to 'fix' their challenges. This kind of listening allows people to feel validated, understood and safe.

As coaches, this practice can be pivotal in holding space (not interrupting our clients' thoughts or when they speak) so that clients can explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences without fear of judgment. 

In these deeply precious moments, our role as coaches may simply be to listen, and in doing so, we empower others to navigate their inner world with greater clarity and confidence to find their truth and way forward.

Your Listening Presence Matters

In coaching and interpersonal connections, being truly present with the person you are with is more than just giving your attention and hearing what is being said; it’s about creating a space and having an open presence to allow our listening to be 'wide' by paying attention to more than just the words - to the whole essence of the person - as opposed to ‘narrow listening’, which may only be focused on the meaning of the words. 

When we listen ‘widely’ beyond the words being spoken, listening to the non-verbal communication, we create a space where the other person feels valued, understood and fully supported.

Letting Go Of Distractions

We live in a world where multitasking has become second nature. Our phones ping with notifications, to-do lists constantly occupy our minds and the pace of life often pulls us away from the present. However, when you choose to let go of these distractions, you listen and communicate in a profound way: you demonstrate you are fully present and you care.

Good listening starts with making a conscious effort to set aside these interruptions. This may mean silencing your phone (or even better putting it out of sight or turning it off), clearing your mental clutter, or grounding yourself before entering a conversation. 

When your focus is on the here and now, you allow the other person to feel truly seen and heard, which is a rare, life-giving and powerful experience.

Suspending Judgment

Listening also involves shedding preconceived notions and silencing our inner voice that evaluates, judges, or compares. When we listen with judgment - whether that be of the person or their situation - we unintentionally create a barrier that can block authentic communication and prevent us from listening.

Instead, aim to meet the speaker where they are with openness and curiosity. By adopting a mindset of 'what can I learn from this person?',  as opposed to thinking about what they should say, do, or feel, this non-judgmental approach fosters trust. It supports the speaker feel safe to express themselves fully and honestly.

Acknowledging The Unspoken Communication

Deep listening goes beyond just words. It’s about tuning in to the subtleties - the tone of voice, body language, pauses, and emotions beneath the surface. Often, what’s left unsaid reveals just as much, if not more, than the spoken words.

For example, when listening to another, listen out for:

  • A hesitation in their speech, which might indicate doubt or fear.
  • A shift in tone, which might reveal a hidden frustration or sadness.
  • Silence, which might speak volumes about what they’re processing internally.

Acknowledging these unspoken cues without rushing to fill the space, and potentially getting curious about them allows for a deeper understanding and a stronger emotional connection.

How Listening Builds Trust And Connection

When we give someone our undivided attention, we communicate, "You matter. Your thoughts and feelings are important to me."

This act of deep listening fosters:

  • Trust: People feel safer opening up when they sense genuine care and focus.
  • Understanding: By truly listening, you gain clarity on not just what is said but what is truly desired.
  • Authenticity: When we listen, our connection feels real, rather than transactional.

As coaches, this ability to support our clients is essential. It’s not about solving problems, but about holding space for the people we coach to explore, process, and grow. Listening becomes the foundation of transformation.

Barry Philipps, who volunteers for the charity The Samaritans - a UK and Irish charity which offers a free, 24/7 service that provides emotional support for anyone in distress - explains how important it is to deeply listen to those who need support.

“We don’t give advice, share personal information, or judge. Our sole focus is on being present and providing a listening space.

"This approach has been incredibly empowering - not just for those we support but also for us as listeners. By creating a space free of judgment and solutions, we give callers a chance to process their thoughts and often find clarity or solutions for themselves.”

Practical Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

Stay Fully Present

Resist the urge to plan your response or let your thoughts wander. Focus entirely on the person speaking. To ground yourself in the present moment, take a few deep breaths before engaging in the conversation.

Avoid Interrupting or Offering Solutions

When someone shares, it’s natural to want to relate to their experience or offer advice. Instead, hold 'space' for them to express their thoughts fully. Use encouraging cues like nodding or phrases such as “I see” or “Say more” to show engagement or that it's ok to express more.

Reflect and Clarify

Confirm your understanding by summarising or paraphrasing what they’ve said. For example: “It sounds like you’re feeling unsure about the next step, does that capture it?” This approach validates their feelings and strengthens the connection.

The Ripple Effect of Compassionate Listening

The beauty of deep listening is its ripple effect. It doesn’t just benefit the speaker, it also fosters greater empathy, connection and kindness in the listener. By showing up fully and listening intentionally, we create stronger, more trusting relationships with our clients and the people in our lives.

In summary, listening is a life-saving skill. As coaches, we hold a profound responsibility to create spaces where transformation can occur. Deep listening is a cornerstone of this responsibility: a gift we offer to our clients that allows them to feel seen, heard, and valued.

'Listening like a Samaritan' is an act of kindness that extends beyond coaching. It’s about creating a more compassionate, connected world—one conversation at a time.

Tune In to the Podcast

We invite you to listen to Barry Phillips speak more about powerful deep listening in our latest podcast episode. Listen to the full podcast here.

Let’s spread the power of deep listening together. Share this episode with your coaching network, clients, or anyone who could benefit from this transformative practice.

Be empowered.

Jeanine and Marie Empower World Co-founders

The Empower World's world-class ICF Approved Professional Coach Training and Leadership Programme's next intake starts on 18 April 2025 in Doha, Qatar. You can find out more here.

You can also follow us on:

Website: https://www.empower-world.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/empowerpeopletraining

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You can listen to The Empower World Coaching and Leadership Podcast on the following platforms.

YouTube: https://bit.ly/yt-ew-podcast

Spotify: https://bit.ly/ew-podcast-spotify

iTunes: http://bit.ly/EW-Podcast-iTune

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