From Resistance to Mastery: Trusting the Coaching Competencies

As a coach, have you ever found yourself frustrated by the very framework designed to support you as a coach? Many practitioners - whether newly trained or working towards advanced credentialing - admit they sometimes experience the coaching competencies as limiting.

In our mentoring and supervision practice at Empower World, we often hear comments like: “I feel like I’m just ticking boxes,” or “The competencies don’t fit my style. I don't feel free to coach naturally."

When coaches are pushing back on the competencies, there perhaps may be a lack of trust in the process. And yet, when we embody these competencies, designed by highly experienced professional coaches, they can support powerful coaching conversations that feel natural. We can meet the competencies when it's appropriate, not when we believe we have to tick a box. 

Resistance to coaching according to core competencies by new and more experienced coaches is not unusual. In fact, it often points to exactly where a coach’s growth edge lies.

The Real Source of Resistance

So why does resistance show up? Often it comes from believing competencies are fixed checklists, rather than guiding principles for a powerful conversation. Other times it reflects self-doubt or not trusting the process. And sometimes it’s simple overthinking: trying so hard to “get it right” which can lead to our presence and flow diminishing.

We recognise some coaches get caught up thinking things have to be a certain way, or that the competencies don’t fit how they want to coach. That resistance can be a sign the coach is in their own 'patterns' and ways of thinking and doing.

The cost of resistance can be significant. Sessions can feel heavy, or like hard work and clients may sense a forced rhythm.  Coaches can even leave conversations feeling drained rather than energised.

Shifting the Lens

What if the challenge isn’t the competencies themselves, but how we relate to them?

Our role as coaches is to explore different perspectives and the competencies invite us to do just that: to bring them alive in our own unique way. It's an invitation to realise they don’t restrict us - rather - they expand us and how we support our clients.

When the competencies are embraced fully, they can free us. We flow and dance with our clients. We listen deeply beyond the words. The competencies aren’t a 'straitjacket': they are the scaffolding that supports us to bring our authentic selves to the work.

When seen and embraced this way, competencies become a light framework: strong enough to hold us accountable, but flexible enough to allow creativity, individuality, intuitive flow and the courage to flourish.

The Inner Work of Coaching

Coaching is not just about techniques or models. It’s about who we are being. When resistance shows up, it’s an invitation to look inward.

It's remembering, first and foremost, we are the instrument that supports our client to go on a deep journey of self-awareness and transformational change and looking after ourselves is paramount. This means taking care of our growth and well-being, which allows us to serve our clients powerfully.

That’s why reflection, supervision, and mentoring are so vital. Even jotting down a few notes after a session can reveal where you felt light and present, or perhaps where you noticed tension or resistance. These small observations are signposts for growth.

Supervision and mentoring magnify this further. Sharing recordings with a mentor or client cases with a coach supervisor allows us to recognise the patterns that are invisible to us. With support, resistance shifts from a block into a powerful teacher.

Small Experiments, Big Shifts

Transformation doesn’t always come from grand breakthroughs. Often it’s the smallest shifts that change everything. Experimenting with even the tiniest of changes, together with presence, allows the competencies to come alive. It’s about finding what feels authentic - an embodied, lived practice - while staying aligned with the coaching role.

By being curious and courageous, we can attempt to experiment with the types of questions we ask aligned with the coaching competencies and the client's desire for change.

Why Competencies Really Matter

It’s worth remembering that the major coaching bodies - such as the ICF, EMCC, and AC - have aligned their competencies closely. This alignment protects the integrity of professional coaching worldwide.

Competencies aren’t about making us the same. They’re about providing us with a container, and inside that, there’s space for flow and an intuitive approach to coaching. They keep us in our role, supporting both the client and the coach. And within them, there is enormous freedom to be authentic.

Competencies aren’t there to flatten individuality. They safeguard it, ensuring we stay in the role of coach, while bringing our own unique presence, approach and style.

Leaning Into Growth

So what should we do when resistance arises?

If you notice resistance, don’t push it aside. Ask: What is this showing me about who I am being? That’s where the deeper growth is.

Competencies aren’t designed to restrict us. They are there to deepen our work. If we embrace them fully, they actually provide us with more freedom, not less.

When we meet resistance with curiosity and courage, we discover it’s not an obstacle but a doorway to mastery.

Final Reflection

Coaching is both an art and a science. The competencies provide the framework; we bring the art. The more we embrace this dance, the more natural, effortless, and impactful our coaching becomes.

The more you tune into yourself, the more masterfully you will coach. Embody who you are and how the competencies serve you to amplify your authenticity in the service of your clients.

Resistance is a signal: an invitation to reflect, experiment, and grow. And when we lean into resistance, we find it often opens the path to mastery.

Where do you notice resistance in your coaching, and how might it be inviting you to grow?

Be Empowered!

www.empower-world.com

To listen to the Podcast 'From Resistance to Mastery: Trusting the Coaching Competencies' with Jeanine Bailey and Marie Quigley, click here.

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Upcoming Empower World Events and Programmes

Coaching Skills Mentoring Programme with an MCC mentor for ICF credentialing purposes, starting 16 January 2026. Find out more about how you can step into masterful coaching here.

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