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FEEDBACK: The Most Empowering Personal Growth Tool You Have...

May 08, 2022

We all know feedback is important. It supports us to grow and learn, both as individuals and as professionals. But giving and receiving feedback can sometimes or even often, be difficult, especially if we're not sure how to do it effectively.

In this article, you'll discover how to take your feedback game to a whole new level. How to give and receive effective feedback and transform your personal life and professions lives and the lives of others.

You'll learn:

  • How to give feedback that leaves the other person feeling empowered, inspired and committed to improving.
  • How to use feedback from others for fast track improvement in your personal and professional life.

Ready? Below are …7 Tips to Becoming a Masterful Giver and Receiver of feedback!

Tip 1: Realise that Giving and Receiving Feedback is a Gift

The next time you're tempted to hold back from giving or receiving feedback, remember that feedback is a gift. An act of love. It's an opportunity to grow, improve and connect with others. A way to show them that you care about their growth.

By doing so, you’ll begin to instantly reap the benefits that feedback can offer.

So many successful people will share feedback was the gift that supported their growth and development. Listening to feedback openly with curiosity in whatever shape or format it comes in has allowed them to identify new ways of being, doing, thinking, creating and experiencing their world.

By listening to feedback - whether it be shared in a supportive or not so supportive way, or whether it is shared using words or with others taking action or non action has been the key to informing them of how to create their success.

Tip 2: Think of Feedback as an Opportunity to Bring Out the Best in Both the Giver and Receiver

For many, feedback is seen as a way to guide… and point out someone's flaws and shortcomings. But it doesn't have to be that way.

When given effectively and from a place of wanting to serve and see another do even better, feedback is an opportunity for growth, learning and connection in both the giver and receiver.

When receiving feedback... Think of it as a process that puts you back on the path to learning… and even your deeper truth . When you take this approach, you'll see it with a different level of clarity. You'll discover insights into what you might or must do next.

When giving someone else feedback… Instead of worrying about hurting or offending them, think of it as an amazing opportunity to support them to reach their highest goals. Tip 3 shares how you can set up to provide feedback to support you and the person or group you are providing feedback to.

Tip 3: Create a Safe Psychological Place When Providing Feedback

The most important thing when giving or receiving feedback is to create a safe psychological environment. This means that both the giver and receiver feel respected, valued and heard.

When we don't feel safe, our natural reaction is to become defensive and close off from the experience. When this happens, we lose sight of the message that's trying to come through and miss out on powerful insights.

Here are a few things you can do to create a safe psychological space:

  • Make sure the person knows that you respect them and value them as an individual.
  • Take some time to build rapport before giving feedback.
  • Choose your words carefully.
  • Avoid using words that could trigger a defensive reaction, such as "always" or "never".
  • Use "I" statements. For example, instead of saying "You're doing it wrong", try "I noticed that you did X differently to what I might have done. I'm curious about your thinking behind that so I can learn from you?"
  • Ask permission before giving feedback. For example, "Can I give you some feedback about that which can support you and I?"
  • Pay attention to your own energy and state of mind. If you're feeling triggered or defensive, it's probably not the right time to give feedback.

Tip 4: Give the Receiver the Opportunity to Contribute and Ask Questions

When giving feedback... Encourage the receiver to contribute by asking questions such as "What do you think about that?" or "What are your thoughts (or what are you feeling) as I share that with you?".

This way, they're not just passively receiving information. Instead they're actively engaged in the process.

When receiving feedback... It's important to remember that you're not powerless. You have the opportunity to contribute to the conversation and ask questions too. This will allow you to understand the feedback better and decide what, if any, action you want to take.

Some questions you might want to ask are:

  • What do you think went well?
  • Can you give me an example of what you're talking about?
  • What do you think I could do differently next time?
  • How can I improve this?
  • What would you do in my situation?

Tip 5: Use the Power of Active Listening, Questions and Reflecting

Active Listening
When we really listen to someone, we're not just hearing the words they're saying, but we're also picking up on their tone of voice, their body language and their energy. This allows us to get a much deeper understanding of what they're trying to communicate.

Ask Questions
This shows that you're interested in what they have to say and it also allows you to get more valuable information to serve your growth (versus justifying or defending). It's the opportunity to receive the gift of feedback - no matter how the feedback is delivered.

Reflect Back What You're Hearing
This builds rapport, shows you're really listening, allows the other person to feel heard and understood, and it can also clarify any misunderstandings.

By using the power of listening, you can create a safe and open environment where both parties feel heard and respected. This is the foundation on which effective feedback is built.

Tip 6: Avoid the 'Sandwich' Feedback Technique

Many people are taught to provide feedback using the "sandwich technique".

This involves...

The Bread: Starting with a positive comment.
The Filling: Giving the constructive feedback.
The Bread: Finishing with another positive comment.

For example:

The Bread: "I really appreciate how hard you're working."
The Filling: "I think you could improve your time management skills by planning your day in advance."
The Bread: "I know you're capable of great things and I'm confident you'll be able to achieve them."

Granted, some people who appreciate receiving feedback in all its forms will appreciate this process, and often people only listen to the potential ‘stinging’ comment in the middle if they are adverse to feedback.

Instead, we recommend asking the person you are giving feedback to, what do they believe went well in relation to the feedback topic, and then you add what you believe also went well.

Then follow up asking what they believe they could do better, and follow up with your thoughts how they can improve which supports the receiver of feedback to grow.

And then you might together agree on a way forward - action steps or goals - which will support the person or group you are providing feedback to for their success.

This process gives the other party a sense of responsibility and ownership for their success and invites them to reflect upon their situations and circumstances for themselves and their experiences.

Tip 7: Tailor Your Feedback For The Personality Type and Watch Your Effectiveness Rise Significantly!

When giving feedback, it's important to take into account the personality communication style of the person you're talking to. Different people will respond to feedback in different ways. So it can be important to adjust your approach for each of the different styles to ensure they understand what you are sharing with them.

For example, if you're talking to someone who is assertive and fast paced, they're likely to appreciate direct and to the point feedback.

On the other hand, if you're talking to someone who is outgoing and sociable, they might appreciate feedback that's given in a more indirect and friendly way.

An analytical or risk averse person may require very specific details to support them to understand the bigger picture.

Great Leaders Are Those Who Are Willing to Give and Receive Feedback

Whether you're leading your family, an organisation of employees, your clients, or just yourself... becoming a master of giving and receiving feedback is 'the breakfast of champions' as Ken Blanchard (renown personal and leadership development expert) says.

The most effective leaders embrace feedback. They see it as a valuable tool that can support them to improve their performance and the performance of their team.

Leaders who are open to feedback create a culture of trust and respect.

This creates an environment where people feel safe to share their ideas and suggestions. It also allows for honest and open communication, which is essential for any team to function effectively.

If you want to be a great leader, becoming a masterful giver and receiver of feedback is one of the most powerful and essential things you can do.

It will transform your personal life, your professional life and the lives of those around you.

It will support you, your team and your organisation to grow effectively.

Here's What to Do Now...

Start actively practising giving and receiving feedback today.

Giving and receiving feedback is a skill that requires practice.

Like anything else, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it.

Start small by giving and receiving feedback with people who you feel comfortable with. As you get more confident, you can start to give and receive feedback with people who are outside of your comfort zone.

Come to Coach Training to develop and powerfully deepen your communication and feedback skills!

During our Coach Training Programme, you'll have the opportunity to train with 'high level' feedback techniques and strategies (including personality profiling and energy types). You'll discover how to create outstanding results in your own life and the lives of your clients. After learning this, your life will never be the same again.

Our upcoming International Coach Federation (ICF) Approved Online Coach Training and Leadership Programme starts in May 2022.

Did this blog post inspire you to start giving and receiving Feedback differently? Let us know in the comments below.

Below are five ways we can support you to make a difference:

(1) Set up a Discovery Call, to find out what you can do to make empowering change
(2) Download our "How Coaching Can Change Your Life"
(3) Sign up for our offers
(4) Connect with us on LinkedIn
(5) Forward this email to someone you believe would benefit from coaching, learn to coach, develop leadership skills and so much more

Listen to the following podcast Empower World's Coaching and Leadership Podcast Episode 175 here.

Giving and receiving effective feedback means opportunity for growth! Engaged feedback is an important leadership skill that leads to powerful, inclusive connections with people. The more we are willing to stretch into the skills of feedback - as both the provider and acceptor of - the greater our self-development and the development of others in professional and personal lives.

Episode-175 can be found here:
Direct Link: https://bit.ly/3rw4gKA
YouTube: https://youtu.be/5EsVNsHoewQ
‪Stitcher: http://bit.ly/st-podcast-episode-175
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3GXpmHW
iTunes: http://bit.ly/EW-Podcast-iTune​


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"Feedback is a gift. Ideas are the currency of our next success. Let people see you value both feedback and ideas."

- from the book 'A legacy of 21st Century Leadership -

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