Living Life Purposefully With Courage

What does vulnerability mean to you?

Do you associate it with fear, imperfection, criticism, loss or betrayal? Often those are those thoughts, emotions, habits come up when we allow ourself to vulnerable: to say something, do something or be someone visible to the world.

For far too long society has taught us vulnerability is weakness and something to be hidden from others. And as a consequence, too many of us erect barriers around us, afraid to take chances, to put ourselves out there for the world to see.

But what if you could look at vulnerability as courage?

Amy McLean, a relatively new coach, decided to launch her own podcast called ‘Life on Purpose’ for women who are navigating the journey of authenticity and embracing who they truly are. Starting any new venture can be scary, and starting one in which you put yourself out quite so publicly can be even scarier. As Amy says, “It was really getting my head around the idea that my messages and my words were going to be out there and once they're out there I can't pull them back... it's everlasting.” 

Amy shares she allowed the fear and her vulnerability to hold her back for a while, until she made a conscious decision to 'feel the fear and do it anyway.' As Amy puts it “At some point I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do what I really wanted to do, which was to share these stories with these women, if I didn't lean into the fear to move forward.”

When Dr Brene Brown, research professor, bestselling author and inspirational speaker was looking for a title for her book on vulnerability, she recalled the words of Theodore Roosevelt which has inspired much of her work which centres around the theme vulnerability is not weakness, but the source of courage and strength.

“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worth cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Brene Brown explains while vulnerability may be the source of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, it is also the source of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She says, “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.”

So to live a whole-hearted, fulfilled life, sometimes we have to stretch outside of our comfort zone - as Amy did to launch her podcast 'Life on Purpose'. This means it will be uncomfortable to take new actions - sometimes very uncomfortable as we face and feel our fears. But if the action is aligned with our purpose, values, goals and dreams, it's exactly what is required to bring joy, love, happiness and meaning.
 

 
How do we embrace vulnerability, and use it to empower ourselves to live the life we want?

1. Find your purpose, values, dreams and goals. When you uncover your purpose, and everything connected to it - you will be often drawn towards doing something outside of the comfort zone. The important thing is to take bold action. Fear, anxiety and nervousness are bound to come up when you take new actions and step into the new places most important to you. These uncomfortable sensations and emotions let you know you are growing and expanding to support you to step up into the life you know you are meant to experience.
    
2. Be willing to fall and scuff your knees. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable by stepping into new ways of living your life, there is a chance you will fall over. As the Theodore Roosevelt quote goes: “there is no effort without error and shortcoming”. What matters is you pick yourself up from the arena floor, dust yourself off, learn from the fall and do something different to create the success you desire.
    
3. Know the difference between your critics and your champions. When things go wrong along the way people will be quick to point fingers, or to point out what you could have done better. Referring to the Roosevelt quote, "it’s not the critic that matters, but the person who is actually in the arena, being vulnerable and daring greatly." This does not mean you don’t take on any feedback, but instead listen for the learning and pay attention to the feedback of those who have your best interests at heart. As Amy says (and did to support the launch of her podcast), “I encourage you to find those people that can be your champions and then go out and do. It's scary and it's exciting and it's unknown. So much unknown, but it is that change... that is what's transformational.”

Stepping into any new arena that is important to you may be scary – the unknown often is – but it’s also incredibly empowering. So embrace your vulnerability, understand what is truly important in your life,  find your champions, be willing to scuff your knees occasionally and learn great lessons, and importantly, dare greatly.

Be empowered.