4 Reasons Why Emotional Intelligence is Essential for Every Leader - And How to Develop it

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand and/or manage your own emotions, as well as perceive and respond effectively to other people’s emotions.

This involves a variety of skills as well as the capacity to be curious and create awareness about self and others, be able to empathise with others, participate effectively in social interactions, and make decisions which are good for yourself and the wider system you are part of and maintain healthy relationships.

Emotional intelligence is the foundation for being an effective leader and relationship builder for the following reasons:

1. Self-awareness: Emotional intelligence helps you become more aware of your own emotions, strengths, and not-so-strong areas. This awareness enables you to understand how your emotions affect your behaviour and decision-making processes, which can be modelled and repeated if it supports your goals and aspirations.

And if your emotions are creating poor decisions and behaviours, you can get curious about what you want to change and do differently to support the outcomes you do want to experience.

2. Relationship building: Understanding and/or empathising with the emotions of others is crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Being aware of the emotions of self and others can support you to relate to others, resolve conflicts far more effectively, and foster relationships built on trust and rapport.

For example, if you know someone is in a not so ‘healthy’ emotional state – perhaps someone experiencing great stress, exhaustion, frustration, or anger – trying to reason with that person in this state can potentially be more detrimental than helpful. The person you are trying to connect with may react in a protective, defensive or explosive way – which may drive a bigger wedge between you both.

Giving the person space to calm their central nervous system and return to a more grounded presence of mind as well as respond in the pre-frontal cortex or the executive decision-making part of the brain can give both parties a potentially better opportunity to listen to, be heard and understand one another.

The opposite set of emotional circumstances, i.e. when you approach someone in a healthy emotional state also provides an opportunity for creating a strong connection and the basis for a good relationship.

3. Decision-making: Emotions play a significant role in decision-making and they are often the driving force behind the decisions we all make. When you consider your own emotions mindfully and those of others when making choices, which means reflecting on the possible emotional outcomes of your behaviours, it can lead to a more thoughtful and balanced decision.

Acting on emotional impulses can sometimes work in our favour, and sometimes they don’t. Giving yourself – even a few seconds of space to consider the impact of your decisions on your emotions when you choose to take action – or non-action – can create better outcomes... maybe even save relationships and lives.

For example, those times when you experience a ‘rush of blood to the head’ – perhaps strong anger - may result in taking impulsive, instant action you may regret later. Taking a bigger deeper breath can support you to perhaps consider an alternative better decision/action or stop whatever your initial impulse ‘called you’ to do and lead to healthy outcomes.

4. Stress management: Emotional intelligence assists you with ways to manage stress and emotional challenges effectively. It enables you to regulate your own emotions: manage them so they don’t take over the wise part of your heart and mind so that you can adapt to difficult situations feeling confident you are making the wisest choice at that time in those more challenging situations.

To foster your emotional intelligence and support the management of challenges which arise, consider the following:

1. Reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. Get curious about why the emotions are arising – what you are choosing to believe and focus on in those moments. This self-awareness helps you understand your own emotional triggers and patterns and with that awareness, decide what you want to experience instead – and therefore who you choose to be, what you choose to believe and focus on, and what you will commit to do or not do.

2. Practice active listening skills to understand other people's perspectives and emotions better. This involves paying attention to others, asking questions, reflecting back what you hear or don’t hear and demonstrating empathy by putting yourself in other people’s shoes to understand their feelings and experiences.

3. Regulate emotions utilising various methods such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and finding healthy outlets for emotions, such as journaling, art or physical activity.

4. Develop your communication and social relations skills by incorporating mindful practices. Consider attending workshops, seminars, training programs or being coached designed to enhance emotional intelligence skills.

Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process of practice, learning, discovery and reinforcement of what works well. By fostering our personal emotional intelligence, we can improve our personal and professional relationships, enhance our decision-making capability, and lead a much more fulfilling life.

Be empowered!

Jeanine and Marie

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