Co-founders of Empower World
Jeanine: Hello and welcome, everybody, to the Empowered Coaching and Leadership podcast, and my name is Jeanine Bailey and I'm with my wonderful business partner, Marie Quigley, we're both still on the other side of the world from each other, but very happy and grateful to be here today. Good morning, Marie.
Marie: Good evening, Jeanine. Good to be with you
Jeanine: Fantastic to be with you as well. And today, what we thought we would focus on in this podcast is the premise of the coaching is based on is the premise of people are naturally creative, resourceful and whole. We recognize that perhaps that there may be some misunderstanding of what that may mean. And so, we wanted to bring that into our podcast today to share what we believe that terminology of naturally creative, resourceful and whole is because, I believe when we really adopt this principle, the way that we see people. That is that, they have the answers inside themselves, they hold the truth that when we really hold that belief, it stops us from rushing in, rescuing. We really hold the place and space for our clients to go on a journey inside to find their truth, to find their answer.
Marie: Yeah, it's a terminology that, of course, when you've been a coach for many, many years, it just is how you kind of are with your clients. And it is interesting that it's come up as a what does that even mean? Naturally, creative, resourceful and whole. And it is in the core competencies, that terminology is about believing that those answers that the client comes with are already there, that they are capable of taking the steps that they want to, that they don't need to be aided. They don't need to be pushed. They don't need to be shoved into it, that they already have the resources within themselves to take the action they need to take and be the person they need to be in order to take that action. So, when we're mentoring coaches, some of the things that we see, especially in the early days and potentially in those coaches that have got into the habit of maybe mentoring or advising their clients, that belief isn't there. It's like, well, if I don't give them the advice, they're not going to find their own answer. Or if I don't point them into the they're into the direction that I think they should be in, maybe they'll be lost. So, there's a kind of rescuing of the client instead of trusting that this principle actually lives within them. It's not just a thing on the wall. It actually lives within them.
Jeanine: Yes, absolutely. And as a new coach, potentially hearing that principle that is shared by the International Coach Federation, the ICF, and also what we do in our training is to share this principle because, again, we know that it is really a powerful foundation for us to be able to support our clients when we bring this into our coaching. So initially, it may not be really understood or it may sound may sound good in theory, but as a new coach and I know myself as when I first started coaching, I didn't really understand the principle either. And I too, know in those initial early days, I found myself trying to support the client by steering them into a direction. But actually, when I really started to be mentored, when I started to really get a lot of experience, I recognized that this is not coaching if I'm steering or guiding my clients. And so, it was a really powerful moment when I was in front of a training room and there was a coaching opportunity. And the client, what they brought in, I mean, they were incredibly brave and courageous to bring in what they did in front of a room. They brought in such vulnerability when they shared what was coming up for them. And I just remember holding the space. Not coming in with another question, not coming in with any guidance and at that stage really asking questions that were not leading, not guiding, really trusting the client and knowing that she was experiencing such a challenging thing that she brought into the room. And I think everyone was on the edge of their chairs at this point, and all of a sudden, the energy changed her physiology, changed her and watch how she responded was incredibly powerful. And she was able to create out of being not knowing what the answer was for herself to actually dig deep and find the answer for herself, and it was appeared and her feedback was it was transformational. And when we unpacked that experience in the room, you know, what she shared was that she said it was incredible because, she and I were it was like we were in this cone of silence just between the two of us and she said I could feel the energy from you, Jeanine. I could feel that you believed in me. And that held me and that allowed me to go deeper and find my answer and find my truth, she said, I really can't explain it, but I just felt I could feel that energy. And I know that in that moment, I absolutely believed and trusted that she would find the answer, that there was no need to rush in, just hold the space and allow her to find the answer. So that was a very powerful moment for me, which was quite a few years ago now. And it's just been the foundation of the way. I know that you and I both coach. We really, truly believe that our clients have the answers inside.
Marie: I think you've really hit the nail on the head when you described your belief in your client, it was unwavering. There was no question from you that she didn't know the answer and her description of the energy she felt being with you when you trusted her. That allows so much awareness to happen. Thank you for sharing that today. That's a lovely example of the art of coaching. It's always an art and science. You learn all these beautiful skills, but the art is often just being silent and trusting in the client.
Jeanine: Thank you Marie. And it's these are magical moments, absolutely magical moments where our clients really go on that magnificent, courageous journey, that hero's journey. Going into the cave and finding whatever Jewel is, bless you and to find it and enable it to shine the light on that treasure and allow it to open up their worlds.
Marie: I was mentoring a coach recently, and they asked their client for permission to record the sessions and this coach said, you know, it’s going to be a bit different to all normal coaching, so I'm really not going to give you any advice. I'm not going to tell you anything what anything to do because I'm recording this for a purpose for my mentor to listen in. And interestingly enough, this coach at the end of the session, the client said to her she asked for feedback and the client said to, can we have more of this coaching rather than the other coaching? And she was so surprised that the client actually felt more empowered because she stopped advising and telling her what to do. It's changed her dynamics with this client, not just with this client, but many others, of course, because she had got into the habit of telling and advising. There has been a recontracting about how she's going to work, but it's allowing the clients to move in a way that they've never moved before, moved almost faster into what they want to do. So, you know, we talk in our training about you can bring a host to water, but you can never make it drink. Think about the last time somebody gave you a piece of advice. Did you follow it? No, you didn't, because it's it wasn't meant for you. Their advice is meant for them, not you. And this is the joy of trusting that the client knows, really knows, maybe feeling lost, maybe doesn't know yet. But when given the space to do this deep reflection, the answers are there.
Jeanine: Yes, so, Coaches', if we really bring that principle into our coaching, it is transformational for your clients and that is a beautiful story that you've just shared. Marie about your mentor, Client, really showing how that is so, true, so powerful for the client. So, if we really make that effort and live that principle, choose to live it and just see what shows up if you haven't, because if you have, brilliant and if you haven't, give yourself the opportunity to trust your clients. And allow space and transfer that energy to your client, that you actually see them as naturally creative, resourceful and whole because we're communicating through our body, through our energy all the time. And if you're seeing your client as broken or they need mending, fixing, whatever it may be, that energy is potentially also being transferred to your client. So, it's just being, again, mindful of how you show up, how your being as a coach to be able to support your client again, to create a powerful transformation. And I know and I recognize very often when we supervise that principle often comes up as not being lived and takes away from the client's experience and. Yeah.
Marie: Yeah, so we hope this discussion, this exploration of naturally creative, resourceful and hell has helped you think about experimenting with it if you aren't already doing it. This is about testing it out, try it out, have an experience where you let go of wanting anything for your client. Let go of wanting an agenda for them, let go of wanting a goal for them, let go of wanting an outcome for them, and trust that they'll find their own way, test it out, reflect on it, learn from it. Who are you being when you are trusting this principle rather than believing that you actually need to use a tool or use yourself to infiltrate the client system?
Jeanine: And there is something else to add to that as well. Marie, you know, the client may not come up with their answer straight away. Their answer may show up in the next hour up to the coaching or the next day or that night or weeks’ time or months’ time. So, the client may not figure it out straight away. But again, if you champion them, acknowledge that they are incredibly capable, incredibly resourceful, that they will find their way through when they're ready. Again, you're supporting your client to recognize that they are resourceful, they are creative. They are naturally whole.
Marie: Thank you for listening, everybody, go practice, go experiment, go test it out, we always say challenge everything you think about your coaching stretched yourself out of your comfort zone and we'd love to hear about those experiments. So please share with us all in the below box or on our social media or send us an email and connect to us and tell us how this principle is. If you live, it is impacting the way you work.