Co-founders of Empower World
Jeanine: Welcome listeners to the next episode of the Empower World coaching and leadership podcast. And again, very excited to be here in the zoom room with Marie. Hi Marie, how are you? How are you today?
Marie: Hi Jeanine. Good to be with you. It's a beautiful day I'm in the UK at the moment absolutely stunning weather here, we've got.
Jeanine: It looks beautiful I can see your view out of the window into the garden it just looks stunning and it's evening here in Australia. We've had a gorgeous day here. Really beautiful. And now it's got very cool. There are no clouds so it’s got quite chilly so it's nice to be indoors. So, we wanted to again provide a podcast based on what we're hearing, what we're noticing, what we're experiencing, and as well as what we're sharing with the people that we work with. And one of the things that came up for us is embodiment. So really supporting our clients to listen at a much deeper level beyond the words that they're hearing in their head. It's beyond the chatter that is going on around and around. It's listening to the whole self. It’s listening to the body, the energy and could be so much more than that beyond. Maybe it's intuition, maybe it's who knows, past generations, future generations. There are so many different ways that we can listen to ourselves in a really powerful way. So, Marie what are your beliefs and ways that you support your clients to go to this deeper level of embodiment to support them to create the transformation the powerful transformation that they seek?
Marie: Yeah thank you. Thank you, Jeanine. I think it's just so interesting because both of us do a lot of mentoring and supervision with coaches. And coaches will often say their clients are very much in their head when they're talking about what it is, they want. They're very much talking very fast and talking about the details of what they want and what a lot of coaches struggle with is supporting the client to either get a deeper goal of what really matters for them, or support them to create the transformation they're looking for. And for me early on in my coaching work, I discovered if you can find a doorway to allow the client to move inside themselves, that could be in the head, it's not saying that it's in a different part of the body, it could be in their head, but it could be somewhere else. If there's a doorway, and for me it's usually when the client is slowing down and talking about things that really matter to them. If you can find that doorway to ask the client what's it like inside of themselves when they are experiencing what they're experiencing, then a lot of deep learning happens. So, I listen for ways to support the client to move inside themselves, get curious about what's happening inside their bodies, maybe on the outside of their bodies too but often on the inside of their bodies. And using all of the senses find out what it's like for them inside themselves. So, an example would be if a client has a goal for creating success in their business, then to me that they already have thought about those details many times before they've come to coaching. But the embodied way of looking at the goal would be to step inside of their body, find the place that success is, the place of success lives in, and then have a look at it, discover it, hear what it sounds like, what it feels like, what it's like to move in the world in this success. So, using physiology, using movement envisioning both what's happening right now in the moment, the future as if it's already happening right now. So, when the client does that, when they're using all of their senses to embody themselves and their learning, then we can learn about patterns of behavior that serve the client, but also patterns of behavior that don't serve them. So, they can learn and create awareness for themselves either to put it more in practice if it's serving them, or to get curious and let that patterns go if they aren't serving them. Does that make sense?
Jeanine: It absolutely makes sense to me, Marie, and I really appreciate the way that you express that beautifully about the work that we do to support clients to embody what they are potentially experiencing, or what they want to experience, or what they want to imagine that is happening in the future in terms of what they do want in that success scenario. As you say and it could be looking out to the future or could be right in the present moment, what's happening now? So, and of course there could be clients who want to explore the past for themselves as well, and as we know as coaches, our role is not to lead our client to past and we recognize that sometimes our clients realize this is something I have to do to understand to learn from that so that I can move forward. So, we will as coaches potentially support them to embody what's perhaps happened in the past, with their permission, not with our guidance not with our leading. So, its definitely client led and what I loved what you shared, that beautiful analogy of hearing for the doorway to support the clients who are listening out for that doorway so that we as coaches can support our clients to again create an embodied experience. And by supporting the client to experience that through all the senses, what they see, hear, feel, taste, smell and again inside their body or as you said Marie perhaps it's not inside, perhaps it's outside, perhaps it's in the head but if we know that we're slowing the client down, if the client is really slowing down their thoughts, we know that they're experiencing something new, that they're expanding their awareness, they're expanding their consciousness. And so particularly when we're supporting them to embody that going out into the future, their unconscious mind, it doesn't know the difference between reality and our imagination. So it's such a powerful process when we're putting our clients to future focus and embody that, because we're programming that part of our mind called the RAS or the Reticular Activating System, which is like the Google search engine of our mind, to look out for all the evidence in the world to reinforce what it is that we want. Hope that makes sense.
Marie: It does and I'm just thinking as well as, as a coach when somebody is talking about what they want we're obviously listening deeply to what the client is saying and sometimes by the way the client is moving their body or even breathing or blinking their eyes. Maybe you'll notice an incongruence with what they say they want and what you're noticing. So that's another way to go inside and check in. So, an example would be, if a client is saying they really want this goal but you notice they’re frowning or they're small in their stature, maybe they're closing up as they're speaking about it. It would be saying “so, I hear you're talking about the goal but just have a look at your body language right now, what's happening for you in this moment that feels out of alignment with this goal?”. And so, questions like that can create deep awareness for the client just by paying attention to their body, their breath or something else.
Jeanine: Yes. And what you are sharing there Marie, is hearing in that example, perhaps the words are out of sync with physiology or the tone or whatever that the client is expressing and it's showing up the different parts that are within us that that is really, potentially, really supporting the client to recognize that there are parts of me talking here in different ways. There's one part that wants this and knows what I want but there's another part that's holding back. And again, it's a beautiful place to explore, you know, what are what are these different parts within us? What are they showing up for? What are they here for? What's the what's the positive intention the learning from perhaps the part that's resisting? And so, getting curious again like a super detective to find out what's happening for the part that is potentially holding back and asking those questions to integrate those parts to bring them together. To create the alignment and the goal, the aspiration, the dream, the experience that is desired.
Marie: Absolutely Jeanine. So when we see those, because we all have these different parts within us, and when we see that the parts that play because we're slowing down in the conversation because we're really supporting the client to get present in their own state, they can notice things that they wouldn't normally notice if they're just talking about the details of the story. And as coaches we are mirrors reflecting what we see. And I would also say we’re… in the deep listening that we're doing with a client we are also deeply listening to whatever's in the system that we're working with in the client. Perhaps there's something within us that shifts maybe our breath changes as the client is talking about like what they want. Maybe we have a sensation in our bodies. And if we look at it as just a system working together the listening that we do with our own selves can be really invaluable if we offer it to the client, of course not making ourselves right, but if we offer it to the client for example “client I'm noticing as you say that my stomach is clenching, what's happening for you?”. If we model that for the client they can really learn to embody more and more about their own learnings.
Jeanine: Yes. And again, I really appreciate you bringing in that system, the systems work that we do as coaches and what came up for me when you shared that is an image of this bubble that is around the coach and the client. So if we become aware as coaches that we're in this bubble together and that we're like mirrors and that we're going to be reflecting mirroring one another again, as you say Marie, when we're noticing what's going on for us as a coach, we can utilize that awareness that we're creating within ourselves, as you said, to offer up to our client. And potentially we could be off track. We may not be aligned and we may be. And if we're not aligned even by sharing it, it potentially gives the client the opportunity to say “you know it's not it's not that but what I am noticing is this”. And so that becomes another beautiful way to play off, to get curious about. So again, as we always share there's no wrong or right in these conversations. It's utilizing everything that happens in the conversation to create and build more awareness. And there was something else that came up for me as well earlier that I wanted to share which is that model around communication. And forgive me if I’ve got these percentages incorrect. There was a study done about what makes up communication and in this particular study and I can't remember what it's called but seven percent is words and 38 percent is tone and 55 percent physiology. So again, if we keep that in mind then we recognize “gosh there is so much communication that is happening beyond the words, there's just so much”. So, paying attention to the physiology, paying attention to the tone, provides beautiful clues as to you know, what's potentially going on inside.
Marie: Absolutely Jeanine. That's a lovely description of that communication but also, I love your metaphor of the bubble. And I think if we take ourselves and put the client and coach, or team and coach into this metaphor of the bubble then we can heighten our sense of listening because we're fully present with giving all of our attention to the person or people we're working with so we can notice things that in normal conversation we don't because we're bombarded with lots of information all the time. But truly masterful coaches have an ability to really be present and notice things that other people don't notice. And for me that's one of the keys to mastery is that you will notice the tiny things that come into your senses because your supporting the conversation to slow down.
Jeanine: Yeah. Beautifully said. So, we trust, coaches, that this has been valuable if not invaluable, we'd like to trust, in terms of how we as coaches, how we support our clients. And how we support ourselves, to have an embodied experience and how we can support those deeper conversations that deeper awareness that expanded awareness that we know creating awareness for our clients is a huge percentage of the journey of change so, going on this embodied experience will support ourselves as coaches and our clients to again create that awareness so that they can create different experiences. So, is there anything you'd like to share before we sign off Marie?
Marie: I think just start to become maybe aware of your own processes as you’re experiencing life, start internalizing it yourself. Because as coaches if we do the work ourselves, we're going to be much more impactful with our clients. So just start paying attention to what's happening in your own system and the parts within you. Discover that and then get curious with your client about what's happening for them.
Jeanine: Well my heart is feeling light and full and open so I'm ready to step into that embodiment, Marie and thank you for again sharing with me and our listeners and creating this podcast which we I know we both love so.
Marie: Thank you for your lovely words and time too.
Jeanine: Thank your listeners and we look forward to connecting with us again very soon.