Directors and Co-founders of Empower World
Marie: Hello everyone wherever you are in the world. Again we're very excited to be back here sharing some thoughts, ideas, feelings and expressions that are coming up for us in our world either as coaches or when we're mentoring and supervising other coaches as well. And today we're going to focus on a topic that maybe some coaches feel that this is the way it has to be when they leave coach training.
Jeanine: Hello listeners. We're in the same room in Doha. We've just completed our recent ICF approved coach training and leadership programme and there was a comment that came up about - or a belief that has been made up - that we have to take our clients down these processes that they've been taught, which as we always say, these are processes that you have in your toolkit.
However it doesn't mean that you utilize them. It's about being present first and foremost with your client and using intuition as to when to utilize these different processes. Or just being present with your clients. So that was a comment that came up. There was a belief that was being made up that as coaches we have to take them down a process, a particular process which is not what we teach.
Marie: No not at all. And I'm thinking back to all the mentoring I've been doing recently. Not only with coaches who have been through our program but other coaches as well Jeanine. They're thinking that there is a set of rules they have to follow and they have to deal with those rules, and if they don't then you know that they're not coaching. And coaching is a conversation. A real conversation that two people are having with each other in a deeply connected way. And the processes that you learn when you're in coach training is to support you.
It's like a framework to support you to have those powerful conversations because it isn't just a conversation: it's a conversation with a purpose, with a goal in mind let's say. So the processes that most coach training schools teach are to support you to have a framework to then ‘play' within that framework.
Jeanine: Yeah. And that's what we share and teach and our coach training program. There's a number of structures that we utilize and introduce in our training and we reinforce that it is a framework to support a conversation so that when you are truly present with your client and listening to what is being said and not said - once that framework is really sort of in the bones - you utilize your intuition as to where to take that conversation, what to get curious about and when to use part or whole tools or processes. We do say to our participants it's not about the structures or the processes, it's about the competencies, particularly with our training because it's an ICF approved programme.
Jeanine: And we believe in the competencies: the ICF 11 core competencies. So it's all about meeting those versus being robotic and using a structured process and use of using questions exactly as they've been taught.
Marie: And those eleven core competencies are there to support you to have a deep meaningful conversation that is going to create transformation. So if a coach says -and we've heard it with coaches - who say I'm going to break all the rules and I'm just going to do my own thing: then it's just a conversation. And then you see the client go round in circles and there's no supporting them to get really clear or funnel down and determine what they want. There's no looking inside to get curious about what's going on in the belief system or their emotional world to find out these things that could be stopping them from achieving their goal.
So it's interesting, those coaches who say I want to be free from all of this, be free from all of it, when you've got it inside of you. And we say this time and time again and I really believe this. Your people are attracted to you because of you. That's a big pull for people: they want your style, but they also want somebody who's trained professionally and knows the processes that they can pick out of their toolbox if it's required.
Jeanine: And yes, you make some great points there Marie, and these coaching conversations - as you say – they are a conversation with purpose with a goal in mind and they are about really going deep - really going to places that people have potentially never been before. And we hear this often from our clients who say ‘I've never said this before’ or ‘I've never thought about that before’ - that this is new awareness and so those structures and frameworks support that kind of conversation to go deep and look at what's going on underneath it.
Again those belief systems, those fears, those limiting beliefs, those emotions that keep people potentially stuck or perhaps not progressing to where they want to go. So what I'm hearing as a consequence of what we're sharing, it's really finding that balance between structure and flow, going with the flow.
Marie: The Art and Science of coaching.
Jeanine: Yeah. And knowing that the client is leading the conversation with what they're sharing. And so we as coaches, we're utilizing what is being shared by reflecting that back and getting curious about what it means underneath: what it really means underneath, what are the implications of those beliefs, those emotions and are they supportive or non-supportive.
Marie: Yeah. So it's like doing the work, go and build your muscles. Get to know the processes until those muscles are really strong and then you can get creative. Then you can really step outside of the box at all times giving a 100 percent presence to the person you're working with. So it's really all about the other person. It is not about us as a coach, although our presence matters.
Jeanine: Yeah to be able to notice again; what we perceive, hear and feel and what we're not hearing, perceiving or feeling - getting curious on all of those elements. And as you say, our presence is key to this, as well as those other competencies that support deep transformational change.
Marie: So I think we've got a point across, hopefully coaches will tell us if we haven't. Go practice the tools, go practice the skills, but most importantly, choose to be present with your client and have those magnificent transformational conversations.
Jeanine: Enjoy listeners - enjoy the process of supporting your clients and we look forward to you joining us next time.