Co-founders of Empower World
Marie Quigley: Hello and welcome. My name is Marie Quigley, and I'm with my wonderful business partner all the way over in Australia. I'm situated in the UK. It feels like we're miles apart and yet at the same time, really close together. Hi Jeanine.
Jeanine Bailey: Hi, Marie. Yes, it's lovely to be here on this beautiful morning in in Australia.
Marie Quigley: Well, it was a beautiful evening in the UK. We had beautiful pink clouds tonight, so I'm hoping that's a sign that we're going to have a gorgeous day tomorrow.
Jeanine Bailey: Hmm. Yes, I hope so. Well, it's definitely going to be a gorgeous day here, so I'm looking forward to enjoying it.
Marie Quigley: And we've been enjoying some fantastic training that we've been doing with one of our clients, long term client of ours. And we did a fabulous, well, we say fabulous. The feedback was really positive about the training that we did with a group of 30 leaders in an organisation, and we focused on the topic of feedback. Some people say the dreaded feedback. Some people say the amazing feedback because it helps them to grow. But we were. So, we were focusing on all aspects of feedback and how brave it is for organisations to adopt it and bring it in on a regular basis for the whole workforce, really. What a difference it can make to alignment, to trust and rapport, to growth for all of the people in the organisation. And we thought it's such an important topic. We know we've touched on it before that it would be great to have another conversation about it today.
Jeanine Bailey: Yes, and it was a very brave and courageous topic that the client did want us to support them with because again, they understand the importance of feedback, and they also understand how feedback can potentially also be very challenging, potentially very triggering for both the receiver and the giver of feedback. And so they really wanted to be able to support their people to be able to again provide a safe place as safe as possible to be able to have this dialogue, constructive dialogue to be able to provide feedback, but also build upon that conversation and allowed the opportunity and space to be able to respond and not in a, not in a defensive way, but in a way that again supports each other, the receiver and the giver of feedback, which ultimately they know as a consequence of that growth, that expansion and understanding is going to support the people that they ultimately serve. So, it's really creating that win systemic type of approach conversation that will allow everyone to again benefit from feedback. So, there's so many elements to feedback aren’t there? And again, it's really supporting people to create a safe place to be able to give and receive.
Marie Quigley: Absolutely, Jeanine. And one of the things we also talked about and shared with this amazing team was the different personality styles, and we talked about the energy styles and how different energy styles respond to hearing something that's going to support them to grow. Some people love it and grasp it, grasp it, hold on to it and say, give me more of this stretching feedback and other energy styles a little bit more hesitant, they're unsure about what it means if they're perhaps told that things aren't going as well as they think they're going. And that can stop leadership styles from either giving it or receiving it.
Jeanine Bailey: Mhm. It’s true, Marie, and I felt that was a really great choice by the client that we worked with to bring that information into the training, the workshop that we did by really understanding the four main archetype styles of communication and the way that people like to experience the world. So yes, when we're providing feedback or potentially receiving it as well, it's being aware of the energy style. And as you said, you know, there are these two archetype styles that just love feedback that they know it's going to support them. And there are two fearful side to fearful communication styles that really potentially run away from receiving feedback because they don't want to get things wrong. They don't want to fail. They don't want to let people down. It’s, or themselves down. So, it's really about being aware of those styles so that we can adapt our communication accordingly. And that's what this group did they… By understanding the different styles of communication and experiencing the world, they're able to then think about How do I communicate and how do I set the conversations up to be able to support again a conversation that is going to support each other and the organization to grow?
Marie Quigley: Absolutely, Jeanine. And for you listening in listeners, it might be useful to know that Jeanine and I are both extended disc facilitators and the disc part of it stands for if you don't already know, it's that dominant style that drive a style, the inspirer style, the steady style and the conscientious style and all of those different styles come with what we call a different energy and how we communicate with the world comes from that energy space. And that's what we were sharing when we were working with these clients in relation to the topic of feedback.
Marie Quigley: Yes, so there are different ways that we can set up safety and that trust and rapport when we're either required to give feedback or potentially to receive feedback. And so that's just one of the elements that we can tap into to be able to create that again, that great foundation to provide feedback. But it's also about being aware of other ways and means to again create that, trust that safety, to be able to provide positive feedback. So, and it really is going in first and foremost, going in to these conversations with an approach that is a way to support us both. This is a way to be able to ensure that we both grew from this conversation so that we can set ourselves up for success and fulfillment so that that's one part of that one piece of these, these courageous conversations. It's really going in with that approach that I know I am in service and that I am going to provide feedback that is going to support again, both parties or I'm, you know, as a receiver of feedback, this is going to support me. Yes. Might be a little bit painful. It might be a lot painful. But this is going to this is, you know, I've got to see this as an opportunity for me to grow and continue to be able to be the best version of myself. So that's one element that we can look at when we're entering a feedback conversation.
Marie Quigley: Love that, Jeanine. What I’m hearing when you're saying that is thinking about creating a coaching culture in an organization, it means that we begin with this open mindset being open to really tough conversations that need to be happen happening, but also sharing the great things that are happening within organizations as well. We forget sometimes that feedback is also about reminding people what they are doing well, what's going well. Many organizations forget to celebrate kind of skip over it and are always focusing on what's not going right. So, there's going to be a balance is open minded balance to see what's working. What could we do more of? What could we do less of? But what's really doing? What are we really doing well that’s our specialty.
Jeanine Bailey: And I love that too. Marie, what you are sharing here, because that sounds like a coaching conversation. It's like a partnership. So, it's and, you know, many of us would have heard about the sandwich feedback in terms of, you know, what's great, what's not so great and what's great. And I'm speaking to this group that we were working with earlier this week. Some of them said, Actually, I really like that style of feedback because it enables me to focus on what I want to do better. And so potentially what we were hearing there were those energy styles that love challenge, that love to be able to be supported, pushed whatever it may be to do even better. And we also are aware that type of sandwich feedback can perhaps be triggering and potentially some people will just hear the things they aren't doing well. and forget, ignore close there is to the celebrations. So, it is setting up a conversation to be able to support those conversations as those celebrations, but also invite the person that is receiving feedback. What do they believe they are doing? Well, what do they believe has worked? What is it that they would like to do more of? What is it that they could do differently? What is it that they might like to change? What could they do more of etc.? So having that conversation where the person who has perhaps got the responsibility of providing feedback can do it in a really coach like way by asking questions of the person who is receiving the feedback so that they feel like they're part, it's a partnership and that they have a voice to be able to share that perhaps the giver of feedback is not even aware of. So, it can create some really wonderful openings.
Marie Quigley: I totally agree, Jeanine, I remember really one of my other careers and somebody was giving me feedback and it was in a room with closed doors. There was a table between us. It was all very serious. The giver of feedback was terrified to give any kind of feedback. And so, as I walked into the room, I could feel this energy of fear and that's transferable as well to the receiver. So, it's so important when you are the giver of feedback to check in before you're going in to have a tough conversation with someone, check in what's your energy like? What's the purpose of this? Is the purpose of this to put fear in the person you're chatting with? Giving feedback to well, is it to create an effective verbal communication between the two of you so that both of you can grow?
Jeanine Bailey: Yes, so important, and again, you know, what I'm hearing is this opportunity to partner. And If we and again, if we are the giver of feedback, if we go into those conversations inclusive, we've got this open mind. We've got this approach of wanting to do the best for the person that we are providing feedback to and do the best for ourselves, as well as a leader to be able to again set up these conversations, these courageous conversations that will lead to openings, openings, new awareness. And of course, we know that with new awareness we've got it opens up our choices. And so, if we can go into these conversations and again partner by even just simply asking, are you ready to hear some feed forward that will support you to do your role or to do whatever it is even more effectively and powerfully so that it brings out the best in you and the people that you work with? Even if we ask a simple question like that and get a yes response from the receiver, it's going to set up the conversation for success. And of course, we would invite we would recommend that, you know, setting up those ways of working as well before a conversation is a is a great and wonderful way just to again create trust and rapport between the parties.
Marie Quigley: Absolutely, Jeanine. So, for those of you who are the givers of feedback, check in with yourself what's your energy like as you move into this space of feedback conversation? What's your intention for the person you're going to have a conversation with? What's your intention for yourself? What's your intention for the team or the organization that's going to be impacted because of your conversation? And so, as you set your intention for good for the greater good, you're going to have a much more powerful conversation.
Jeanine Bailey: Yeah. And as the receiver of feedback. How are you going to enter these conversations? What is your approach? What is your mindset? What is your belief? How is it that you're going to set yourself up to be open and also be in a place of resilience to support whatever feedback comes your way? Because we always say that feedback is a gift and potentially it is wrapped up really poorly in terms of how it's delivered. There is always, always a gift in the feedback that we receive, even if the feedback doesn't sound great, even if it potentially is triggering. If we can just pause, breathe. Really trust ourselves and trust that there's a positive intention behind the feedback that is given and that there is this beautiful gift that if we take the time to explore what that is for ourselves, then we can walk away from those conversations in a much more resilient and heartfelt place when way when we have this open mindedness that everything is here to serve us if we have that approach.
Marie Quigley: Love it. So, for those who are receiving this is how I practice my receiving feedback anyway, is to take a breath that manages the cortisol in our system. Take another breath. And as you hear maybe some stretches before you simply say Thank you, thank you for the feedback. Again, that allows us to stay in our body and not go into the stories that we could be making up about ourselves. Say thank you for the feedback and give yourself time to process it. Not all feedback is meant for us. Sometimes it's about the person giving the feedback, but if it is meant for us, allow it to settle so that you can process it and then have a strategy for receiving it in a way that's going to provide you with growth.
Jeanine Bailey: Hmm. I love that advice. That is, I trust that people really pick that up and use it and take it because it is really powerful to wear that, to try it on to do it so we say in Empower World that feedback is a gift that it is one of the most powerful ways that we can support ourselves again to continue our personal journey of growth and expansion. And of course, it's a powerful way to support organizations to bring out the best and continue to grow and expand. And if we aren't having these uncomfortable conversations about feedback, which again, our gift and potentially we're not growing, potentially we're in a comfort zone where we're putting on our blinders and our earplugs, which prevent us from again continuing to expand and be the best version of us.
Marie Quigley: Absolutely. So, listeners go out there, ask for feedback. Ask permission to give feedback. Test it out. Find out what it's like for you and your own energy style to give and receive it and always have that intention that this feedback is coming from a place of love in order to support you and others to grow.
Jeanine Bailey: One final tip as much as possible remove the word ‘but’, remembering that anything that you say before the but potentially which is coming from a positive intention may not be heard if you use the word, but so we recommend you use. And so, listeners thank you for. For listening in. And if you enjoyed this podcast, if you got value out of it and you feel others can get value as well, we'd love for you to pass it on and refer it to others. We know our intention is to support and Empower others in all the different ways and means we can, and the podcast is one of those. So, thank you for listening.